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What We Do In Life Echoes In Eternity (The Poop Thread)

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I had a toilet with water cleaning and blow dryer function. Not as advanced as the Japanese stuff but good enough.

Only downside is that the water jet inevitably also sprinkles the chode and sack. And blow drying takes time, so I still had to use some paper. (The system is self cleaning so it’s quite sanitary.

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Ray, in the future, you can just assume no one is interested in your unsolicited bidet reviews. Really any review that involves your asshole.

my girlfriend has one at her apt where I’m sheltering in place. blasting a warm jet of water up your asshole is pretty bomb

Oh, wait. Forgot what thread this was. @Ray, carry on.

Yeah, too fucking right.

How do the high end Japanese toilets ensure the first part of the water jet is warm?

Very carefully?

They recycle the user’s piss.

I’m just gonna piss on my own butthole and cut out the middle man.

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I’d like to see you try.

Wait…

My bidet seat holds it in a little warming reservoir and pumps it out from there once the wand extends. When you hit the stop button it cuts off the tank, dribbles out what was left in the output tube and wand, and retracts the wand. The tank holds enough warm water for like 30-45 seconds of spray and is ready for the next warm go in five minutes or so.

:cheers:

Starting to seriously consider a bidet. I tried one once and didn’t care for the sensation - it felt like I was having diarrhea in reverse. But, you know the saying: clean rectum, happy man.

Who says that, exactly?

I think Rumi said it originally.

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We just moved into a new building at work. It has unisex toilets, and we’ve barely landed here before I go in for a routine 10 o-clock poop. As I’m washing my hands, a close female colleague with whom I share an office comes in, and a game of Russian poo-lette begins (I’m sorry). Which stall will she choose? There’s five of them, all empty, one stinks.

Yep. Please put a :poop: on my tombstone.

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I have seen single-stall unisex toilets but this is :headexplosion:

Oh, they’re rooms, not stalls - sorry.